I was on the elliptical machine this morning at the gym. As I am often wont to do, I watched mindless TV shows. Before someone gives a snarky remarks about watching crap on TV, I want you to know that I know what you know you are going to say to me.

In other words, I should probably be feeding my mind with information about business. However, mindless TV fills up the time faster and allows me to work out longer.

Plus, as long as I work out what difference does it make. Why I am rationalizing this to you.

Back to the topic at hand! I was watching Two and A Half Broke Girls on CBS.Com. I have a paid account that I use through my tablet.

CBS finds it okay to charge you $6 per month to watch their programs on their website. Okay! I get it. They have to make a profit. However, unlike Hulu (I paid more for no ads) and Netflix they also have commercials. A lot of commercials! Like annoying amounts of commercials.

The type of interruption marketing… that people used back in the hey day of TV ads. They make Mad Men feel proud.

If it were just the commercials that would be one thing. However, CBS did not share any relevant ads for me. In fact, if you could find the least interesting commercials in the world stacked up together I would include these commercials.

5 Reasons CBS Why You Need Targeted Ads

First, What the Heck Wheat Thins! They had this stupid Wheat Thins commercial where the mom uses the Wheat Thins for everything in her life from snack to TV porn blocker to reward for spilling coffee on her husbands pants.

As a single male who eats mostly natural foods that made me distrust the “Natural Ingredients” in Wheat Thins even more. Glad to know I can use your $3 box as a porn blocker however for my non-existent child.

A perfect example of why target marketing is so vitally important.

Second, they had a home depot commercial about painting. Just a heads up! I RENT! Why would I want to spend money on something that I do not own or increase the value of another persons’ investment?

Hm! Targeting marketing strikes again!

Third, they had the new Honda Civic Coupe commercial. First of all, I swear this was an advertisement for those new minecraft creatures. The ones my friends kids love so much!

That brings up another issue altogether. If your ad reminds people of another product, then oy vey is meir do we need to talk! I will admit that I do own a Honda Civic. When it goes to the car god in the sky in as many years from now as possible, I will consider getting another Honda. It is a car you can trust (See video).

However, this ad just did not do it for me. Sorry there!

Fourth, there were a few weird Netflix videos. One with Adam Sandler and David Spade that does not exactly make sense.

https://youtu.be/wXvGj_9LNsw

The other was for these lifetime movie thing-a-ma-bobs where you have two retired ladies getting to know each other and rediscovering life or something like that. I want you to know that I am your ideal target market for this. Feel good stories about women my grandmothers age really do encourage me to fork over my dough at the box office.

Forget Captain America! What the heck X-Men! I want to see feel-good movies about grandmothers. Can we also bring back the silent moves while we are at it?

Fifth, I will give credit where credit is do. The Best Buy ad with the Samsung Refrigerator seemed somewhat cool! Albeit, I am not going to jump out of my seat right now and purchase it. In fact, I am probably not going to make a refrigerator purchase anytime in the next few years.

This goes to poor planning on their part. By the time I am ready to purchase a fridge, I will have forgotten this ad.

Why do I kvetch?

Look! CBS.Com people, I am not trying to be a pain in your derrières! However, if you are going to charge me for something don’t make me suffer for it.

Here are a few options to help you improve your ads.

1. Follow Hulu’s lead and have another level where people pay for the no ads options.
2. If you don’t do that then at least have a spot where you ask people if they like the ads.
3. Stop showing ads to people who pay for your online service. I am sure that I am not the only one who does not like the crappy ads you show.
4. Do some combination of the previous three
5. Bonus: Hire me! My team can help your marketing team create targeted ads for users on your network. Feel free to call me at 847-710-7093.

Final Thoughts

I appreciate the awesome shows that you have CBS! After all, you have Big Bang, NCIS, and soon Star Trek (grunts of appreciation)! However, stop the crappy ass commercials.

Yes, I will continue to watch your shows and pay you every month. However, I feel no compulsion to purchase anything you see. That in is the greatest threat I can hurl at a company that runs on an advertising model.

Please start sending me relevant ads. If you are not sure how to do that, then again feel free to contact me for a FREE 30 minute consultation session.